Friday, January 28, 2011

Six Months

It has been six months since I last had a drink.

As this milestone has approached, I have had a lot of different things on my mind - wonderful things! - recent changes, realizations, shifts in perspective. So much I have started writing about and haven't finished yet. But instead of pressuring myself to finish, instead of rambling on about all the change and junk... I'm just going to say this. For tonight, just this...

I am happier today than I ever thought possible. I knew. I always knew. That if I could just rid my life of alcohol, that underneath, I was a deeply joyful, optimistic, vibrant person. Someone who is not prone to melancholy or depression or getting lost in my own head. A peaceful, generous, happy happy happy woman.

Well, here I am.

I always thought I knew what it could be. But this is far beyond what I could have imagined. There are moments I am so happy I could burst into tears. Or burst into song. Or burst into spontaneous laughter.

Life is wonderful and awesome and everything and nothing like I expected it would be without alcohol in it. I don't miss it at all. I am proud of myself today, I really am. And, as always, so profoundly grateful.

13 comments:

Anita said...

I am so proud of you and all the good work you've been doing!

Samsmama said...

I am so far beyond proud of you, I am not even sure I can put it into words. I want this comment to be so much more eloquent than this, but I'm honestly a bit teary eyed. You are a fabulous example of so many things. I'm so happy I "know" you. Someday we might just need to meet. :)

OXOX

Melissa said...

Anita, THANK YOU! :D And thank you for listening to my stories. ;)

Mary, Mary. We will meet. Because you are a real friend and I won't let you go as the years go by. One day, we'll share a hug and a meal, I'm sure of it. I am so glad you are in my life and your love and encouragement mean a lot to me. Thank you!!

Cate Subrosa said...

So proud of you too. And I want a real hug one day too, Meli. My word, we've come far!

Corinne said...

SO happy for you :) Six months is incredible... you're doing awesome!

Daisy said...

You made me smile big with this post, Melissa. I'm so happy for you. Congratulations to you! :)

Melissa said...

Catherine, haven't we?? :D Real hug is in order, for sure.

Thank you Corinne. And thank you for just being out there!

Much appreciated, Daisy. :)

Bonnie Blue said...

I am so proud of you that I can't even put it into words. You are an inspiring person and I am so luck to "know" you. I truly cherish our friendship and can't wait to meet you in person.

Melissa said...

Thank you so much Halli. I cherish our friendship as well, and I so appreciate your constant support. ♥

The Act of Returning to Normal said...

Big congrats! I'm sorry I missed this post. You are an amazing inspirtation to me.

Melissa said...

Thank you, Tara, and ditto!

Carlos said...

Good for you! I went through something very similar when I was in my late teens - only it was with drugs. I screwed my head on straight, and have been living a happy, successful life for the last 30 years with a clear head and a fresh perspective.

I've been reading (and loving) your food blog for some time, even leaving it bookmarked while it was on hiatus...thought I'd stop by here and give my congratulations.

Melissa said...

Thank you so much Carlos. Good to hear that you understand and I appreciate you jumping over here to read the other part of my story. Hope all is well.